Monday, August 16, 2010

Mama Bear

Happy Monday Friends,
I made it through my first long time away from JoJo. I wasn’t away the whole time, I worked several 13 hour days and was home to sleep with him. So needless to say I threw all routine and structure out the window. I let him sleep on my chest all night, we woke up in the middle of the night to watch cartoons until he fell back asleep and we even had a warm bottle! I did have a fleeting thought that I may pay for it later but he was a good boy today and things are back to normal…..ok he only slept on my chest until he fell asleep but I needed it as much as he did, LOL!
    Some of you may think (13 hours? Attachment issues) Ya so what. I’m a softie and have never slept away from him. I know the day will come and I take advantage of him being extremely resilient and easy going in hopes that when the time comes he will do just fine. Case in point…..this weekend he was fine…..I was the mess.  As I was leaving he had his arms outstretched and was saying “no no no” and it broke my heart but I smiled, waved goodbye and kept reminding myself to be strong for him, to be the example for him and he was just fine. He didn’t even cry for a whole minute “ I know because I stood outside listening trying to compose myself……it didn’t work, I cried the whole way to work but I took confidence in the fact that I left him in the most loving of hands and he would soon be laughing his head off. I wanted to turn around so bad but what would that teach him?
    Anyhoo all of this got me thinking of the term “attachment parenting” and I REALLY am a fan of the idea of the confidence attachment parenting brings. I am also extremely thankful that I am able to stay home with him 85% of the time. I truly believe that examples of attachment parenting, ie, baby wearing as infants, co-sleeping,  breast feeding, and early skin to skin touch lays such a strong foundation for the children. I our society pushes our children into being grown-up so fast that we may be inadvertently laying groundwork for insecurities and need to rely on our motherly instincts and not so much what “they say”.
    And when I say motherly instincts I mean my instincts as well as the instincts of  ALL mothers. I respect that we all have different ways of doing things and that is what makes all of our wonderful children unique. But back to attachment parenting I find that it has worked best for JoJo and I ( and by example of a super-mom of a sister in-law) that things like baby wearing and co-sleeping instill a great amount of confidence in a child. And when someone tells me “oh he’ll never get out of your bed” I say that is rubbish because its all in the way you handle it. My reasoning is that nearly  every other species on the planet sleeps with their young, why should my son be any different? My niece and nephew transferred easily to their beds and are extremely confident outgoing children. My son gave up his pacifier with no problem, has pee’d in the potty 4 times in the 6 days I have had his potty out and he is only 18 months, and when he wakes up from a nap he dosn’t cry hysterically, he gets out of bed, comes to find me in the house and gives me a hug.
    I’m not tooting my own horn here, I am saying that I have followed my instincts in regards to what I have thought is best for my child and it SURPRISE it has proven to be healthy for our family. I want to remind all of you mothers (and fathers) that parents survived on their instincts far longer then we have depended on technology. Animals do it ever minute of their life and we have to make note of that.
So Ferber be damned, your baby dosnt have to cry it out…..unless your instincts are telling you he or she is just being a stinker, LOL.

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