This lil light of mine.......

I brought children into this dark world 

because it needed the light that only a child can bring.  

~Liz Armbruster

 

 

I don't know ow many times this saying has rolled around in my head, for some reason its just one that sticks with me. It rings very true to me despite the fact that its meaning has changed for me over and over. 

Years ago when I wasn't sure if I wanted children I used to have these deep conversations with myself about how awful it would be to bring a child into a world full of uncertainty, conflict, and hate. Then of course LOVE for my husband over ruled that, made me believe in the good in the world and all that jazz. When i found myself pregnant all the fear of raising a child on todays world turned into hope of all the wonderful possibilities in humanity. Love can sure turn things around huh?

After JoJo was born was when I first read the saying above and it justified any previous worry over raising a child, it almost gave me courage that procreating WAS the right thing to do. Then of course natural (or neurotic) worry came into play.....what if I lose my child to some horrific accident, what if he gets childhood terminal cancer, what if I outlive my child or he suffers some violent crime as a adult? Am I the only one who  has such awful things cross there mind? The bigger question is would the life I've lived with my son be enough to carry me through whatever horrific events awaits me? Oh dear, life has been so good up until now I must be due for some tragedy.........or maybe I need medication, LOL! I remind myself.....

 

I brought children into this dark world 

because it needed the light that only a child can bring.  

~Liz Armbruster

 

There is nothing I can about any of the above scary scenarios. What I can do is love my child each and every day so that every moment I have control over is one that he will know he is loved and was brought into this world only by love. 

 

However this past week I have learned something from my child. Maybe it is hormones, PMS, the changing of the seasons but I've been feeling blue this past week. Not depressed, just mopey and not sure why. My husband noticed and like the great man I married he  offered me a little more  love then usual and let me work through my emotions while letting me know he was there.

Anyhow JoJo........my light in this dark world showed me that he too won't let a day go by without showing me that I am loved. Like I do for him,  he ensures that I am reminded that I am loved by a family and mean something. Not only is HE my light in this dark world, our home and family is like a beacon in the dark night of our world, always showing me where I am loved. 

 

 

 

 

Go Outside

Somedays......we just need to put our shoes on and go. Go in any direction, just go discover! Let them lead the way, who knows what you might discover!

Campfires, marshmellows, and dirty faces!

Nothing like a end of summer camp trip to get ready for fall! We stayed at the Big Sur Campgrounds this past weekend and it was the prefect setting for families with young children.
http://www.bigsurcamp.com/
We were lucky enough to get two campsites right on the river and across from the park (yes a park). I could literally BBQ at our site and keep my eyes on the kids the entire time! Next time we may not be so lucky to get a park and river site because they book up so far in advance but that won't stop us from booking for next September. I booked this past trip in May and just got lucky. Anyhow they steam cleaned the bathrooms twice a day, had a laundry room, air hoses to fill up water toys, the cutest lil general store with cocoa, free coffee in the morning and soft serve ice cream. Most sites had a water spicket and some had a electric outlet.
It really dosnt get better then this when it comes to camping.

My sweet husband bought our son a portable DVD player to watch at night, at first I thought it excessive but it actually helped him wind down and gave us adults a lil time to enjoy the fire!

Even the dog had a wonderful time!

Mammals do it..........

Today I was talking with one of my best friends whom is pregnant with her first child. I was so flattered when she said she admired my parenting. She had some typical mommy-to-be questions and it took me back to when I was pregnant. Gosh everyone has a point of view and opinion don't they? Each mommy and daddy is different and so is each child. Not wrong or right and that's what makes each of us unique.
With that said you know I talked her ear off, LOL

We got on the subject of attachment parenting and how I used it as a guide to raise my son, ie baby wearing, and co-sleeping. When my husband tried to give me grief about co-sleeping I simply told him "just about every other mammal sleeps with their offspring, why should my child be any different" And with that, it was settled.

I'm not sure if its my son's personality, the fact that I am so SO blessed to be able to stay home with him during the day or if AP is all that's its cracked up to be but I have a very secure and confident child. I was quite the opposite. If there is a thing as unattached parenting that would be the way I was raised, LOL.
I was a shy and clingy child, I was scared of the dark, starting a new class and never pushed myself to do much that was new to me.

Anyhoo for two years JoJo slept with me, on me, next to me.....I knew their would come a day when that was no longer a option and it came sooner then I thought it would.

I didnt plan it this way but am lucky that it worked out for all of us. I bought him a string of lights to hang in his room that he just adored. I would plug them in at bedtime and unplug them soon after he fell asleep. After a couple of nights of this I said "mom's gonna go lay in her bed". I read him his story as we did every other night, he kissed me and waved me off.

Meanwhile in my room my husband and I looked at each other like "could this really be happening"? This is usually a fight to the death with most kids. I'd heard horror stories of sleepless nights, redirecting children back to bed and even heard of parents locking thier kids in their room (not cool in my opinion)

That was 4 weeks ago and not once has he cried or went to bed upset. Maybe its the lights, maybe its his confidence or maybe its just plain luck but either way I feel like I did something right (even if I dont know what that is). We kept our routine up and he seems as happy with it as my husband and I are!

Some nights if he asks for me I'll lay with him until he falls asleep. He's only two years old, he dosn't need a firm "go to bed" or reprimand, he needs his mommy and.......I need him too.