This lil light of mine.......

I brought children into this dark world 

because it needed the light that only a child can bring.  

~Liz Armbruster

 

 

I don't know ow many times this saying has rolled around in my head, for some reason its just one that sticks with me. It rings very true to me despite the fact that its meaning has changed for me over and over. 

Years ago when I wasn't sure if I wanted children I used to have these deep conversations with myself about how awful it would be to bring a child into a world full of uncertainty, conflict, and hate. Then of course LOVE for my husband over ruled that, made me believe in the good in the world and all that jazz. When i found myself pregnant all the fear of raising a child on todays world turned into hope of all the wonderful possibilities in humanity. Love can sure turn things around huh?

After JoJo was born was when I first read the saying above and it justified any previous worry over raising a child, it almost gave me courage that procreating WAS the right thing to do. Then of course natural (or neurotic) worry came into play.....what if I lose my child to some horrific accident, what if he gets childhood terminal cancer, what if I outlive my child or he suffers some violent crime as a adult? Am I the only one who  has such awful things cross there mind? The bigger question is would the life I've lived with my son be enough to carry me through whatever horrific events awaits me? Oh dear, life has been so good up until now I must be due for some tragedy.........or maybe I need medication, LOL! I remind myself.....

 

I brought children into this dark world 

because it needed the light that only a child can bring.  

~Liz Armbruster

 

There is nothing I can about any of the above scary scenarios. What I can do is love my child each and every day so that every moment I have control over is one that he will know he is loved and was brought into this world only by love. 

 

However this past week I have learned something from my child. Maybe it is hormones, PMS, the changing of the seasons but I've been feeling blue this past week. Not depressed, just mopey and not sure why. My husband noticed and like the great man I married he  offered me a little more  love then usual and let me work through my emotions while letting me know he was there.

Anyhow JoJo........my light in this dark world showed me that he too won't let a day go by without showing me that I am loved. Like I do for him,  he ensures that I am reminded that I am loved by a family and mean something. Not only is HE my light in this dark world, our home and family is like a beacon in the dark night of our world, always showing me where I am loved.